April 21, 2004

The 90s: A Decade with No Redeeming Value

I'm glad my brother brought up the subject of completely retarded lists made up by cable entertainment channels, because I've been meaning to broach the subject of E!'s 101 Reasons the 90s Ruled.

Those of you who remembered the 90s probably remember that, right up until about '99, it sucked hardcore. Rock music pretty much died for good, with grunge as its death rattle; everybody rushed out to see Best Pictures Titanic and Forrest Gump and motherfucking Saving Private Ryan; and speculators bought stacks of comic books, without particular regard for their quality, paving the way for the Spider-Man Clone Saga -- the absolute most boring and convoluted storyline in all of Spidey's history, and believe me, I'm in a position to know.

The long and the short of it is, we all hated the 90s -- except my bastard roommate Matt. For some reason Matt insists that the 90s were awesome. Matt is clearly mistaken, as can be easily demonstrated by a sample of reasons E! believed the 90s to have ruled.

  • The Spice Girls. Ruled. Apparently. (They were #18)

  • Number one reason the 90s ruled: Seinfeld. That's right. The best thing about that decade was a sitcom that we're all extremely tired of.

  • My favorite reason the 90s ruled: 'We didn't have Paris Hilton.' I'm not even making this up, it was on the list at #9. You can only pretend the 90s ruled by pointing out the awful things about other decades that it lacks. Like, 'less terrorist-collapsed buildings.' Well, slightly less.

Look, I can't convey how ridiculous the idea of 90s nostalgia is on my own. Just take a look at the full list, and hope beyond hope that people never REALLY get nostalgic for the 90s.

Andrew - 3:54 PM
Comments

The 90's had nothing of their own--it was an entire decade of awful rehashes of good things in other decades. Here's a perfect argument.

A decade that needs to try to rip-off things from other decades has precious little of value. But i must say, '92 had some great music. After that, it was all downhill.

george - Apr 21, 2004 - 7:25 PM

Oh come on, Andrew, you ass. The eighties were much worse; at least in the 90s there was decent music. And Buffy. You know you love Buffy.

Crystal - Apr 22, 2004 - 12:23 AM

AH, but wait right there! Buffy started in '97, and didn't get completely awesome until '98. By then the 90s were practically over! We had just one more year 'til Fight Club!

Now, the Buffy movie on the other hand...that was '92. THAT is the 90s.

Andrew F - Apr 22, 2004 - 9:27 AM

I liked the 90s, but then again I only lived through seven years of the previous decade. Mostly I just liked the music from '92 to '95.

Rubina - Apr 23, 2004 - 2:47 AM