Well, apparently the King of Pop has been indicted for all the whole little-boy-sex thing. After a cursory examination of the internet I am prepared to declare myself the only person in the world who thinks he's probably not guilty.
Or, perhaps more probably, a lot of people don't particularly think he's guilty, but can't resist an easy joke at the expense of a complete weirdo. Just in case I'm right about that, I hereby promise not to make any joke in this post that refers by name to an MJ song or album. That's my pledge to you: the reader.
Putting aside for the moment that fact that we're all afraid of what Jackson has become, when you think about it, isn't he just regressing? After all, he was a child star, and VH1 tells me this means he probably didn't have a "normal" childhood. So he obsesses over his button nose to the point of destroying it; he names his ranch Neverland (umm, don't click on that); and hangs out almost exclusively with little kids. Come on people, it's a cry for help. Michael Jackson is telling you to stop making him write song about centipedes and just let him pretend to be 12. And as Dan Savage tells us this week, just because you want to be a small child does not mean you want to fondle a small child.
Think about it in terms of probability. Which of the following scenarios is more likely?
1.) Extremely wealthy celebrity invites cancer-stricken bald 12-year-old boy into his home -- along with several other cancer-stricken baldies -- in order to ply him with wine and hustle him for a handjob.
OR
2.) Extremely wealthy celebrity, in an attempt to reclaim his own childhood, makes himself vulnerable to people who realize both that he is extremely wealthy and that he is so bizarre that everyone pretty much assumes he's a child molester anyway.
Personally, if I was richer than God and into little boys, they wouldn't be bald and I wouldn't get caught. Furthermore, if I was richer than god and merely eccentric, I'd give cancer-kids as much goddamned wine as they asked for. I'd probably have a bottle myself, too. Depressing bastards.
Not to start a "conversation" or anything but this reads as an interpretive summary of this week's South Park.
I'll have to Tivo it.
Speaking of which, the supposedly smart box failed to record this week's 24 in spite of my season pass. I blame YOU.
I was going to ask you the same SP question. It was a decent episode (for season 8), and what I liked was that they almost didn't bring up the child molestation charges at all. The writers were pretty sympathetic to Jackson.
If I was richer than God and really into cancer-kids. I'd buy'em all as many lap dances as they want. You know they want them. Who wants an autograph from some sports person or TV/movie person? Some big titties in your face? I vote yes.
Heck, I'm not rich, but I'd do that for the kids anyway.
I know this has nothing to do with any of the previous statements.
Oh, I remember my rant now.
The whole Michael Jackson thing is terrible not because what he did or didn't do, but WHO he did or did not do it with. Once again, our conscientious or sub-conscientious homophobia rears its ugly head by condemming Michael Jackson while we let others (Mr. I believe I can fly), to be free (and have a top ten single) while admitting to having sex with someone underage. The only difference here is that in the 2nd case, Mr. Ignition was caught with a girl. So instead of a molester, he's a stud that simply forgot that picking up girls at the roller rink is a bad idea.
So what's wrong with this picture? Both crimes are heinous and very similar, unacceptable behavior between adults and children. Yet our society's perception are so different in these cases. We throw everything we have at one while making the other a conquering hero.
I'm stop now. Sorry for the ranting...
Correct me if I'm wrong (or even if I'm not), but didn't R. Kelly's deal include peeing on the girl? Not sure where I wanted to go with that, but at least I got "peeing on the girl" up on furdell.com.
And Pup, don't even play like you're not trying to get with those little furry girl toys as soon as they come off the assembly line. You are a dirty old stuffed creature, and we all know it. We're watching you, dog. Watch-in-yoo.