Look. I know that it's part of the deal, that they are required to spend two years as missionaries annoying people around the world, but seriously, Mormon boys, STOP COMING TO MY HOUSE.
I have nothing against Mormons, per se, and there are individual Mormons of which I'm very fond (Hi Jen!). I do, however, think it takes a very high degree of arrogance to come to someone's house, interrupt them while they're writing a paper (as I invariably am), and tell them that they're going to Hell. Not that they ever say that outright, but it's definitely implied. It doesn't matter that I've put a great deal of thought and study into my religious beliefs (or non-beliefs, in the case of Mormonism). Nope, at age 18, these boys have discovered the "truth" that I have been too stupid to see.
So no, Mormon boys, you may not come in. You may not give me any literature. And if you want to pray for me, feel free to do so from the other side of this swiftly closing door.
There used to be a couple of Mormons who I would often see biking along in my neighborhood. I was always attempted to go one door ahead of them to warn the neighbors shouting "The Mormons are coming hide your caffeine free soda." They are a missionaries they aren't going to kick your ass and if you got them angry enough to do it, it would make a great story. Seriously saying that you will call the police for some reason usually makes them leave your area or at least not bother you anymore.
God Kimberly, you have this all wrong. The only way to successfully prevent them from returning is to invite them in and take up an hour or so of their prime proselytizing time painstakingly explaining to them why the only higher power you recognize is Erik Estrada. Well, you can pick your own marginal famous person. But he's pretty good.
When the Jehovah's Witnesses used to come to my house, my Dad used to very calmly and politely explain to them that while he believed everyone was entitled to their own beliefs, he didn't try to impose his on them, and he would appreciate the same courtesy. He didn't get much mileage out of that, since I know I heard him say it many times, so they must have kept on coming. He did also sometimes give them shit for showing up on "our Sabbath," since it was usually Saturday when they came around. Of course, they probably interrupted our breakfast of bagels and bacon.
If you need to mortgage everything you own I recommend doing it to see this movie. http://www.bookofmormonmovie.com/
It was by far the funniest thing I saw in theaters all last year.
I am roman catholic and I recommend giving them a copy of the apostles creed