My Review of 'Troy'

| 4 Comments

Troy **

Tonight I saw Troy, yon blockbuster adaptation of the Iliad. I give it two (2) stars out of 20.

Ah, perhaps you're wondering exactly what scientific method I use to rate movies? The only one that makes any sense: I award one star for each actor that was formerly a Bond villain. 'Troy' gets 1 star each for Julian Glover (aka Kristatos) and Sean Bean who you remember as Alec Trevelyan.

It should be noted that, with a score of three (3) stars, Ronin is the best film of all time. Personally, I'm not a fan. But I'm not going to argue with the system.

4 Comments

Ronin actually is one of my favorite action movies ever. Although I think Kill Bill has eclipsed it.

Dude, Ronin is just a 2 hour car chase. Rent the original Gone in 60 Seconds; it's at least only a 90 minute car chase.

And as for Kill Bill, well, it was good and all, but I think Punisher was better. Sacrilege? Maybe. But that movie had some really excellent violence.

OK, first of all, the original gone in 60 is a poor quality car chase that features no cars from the Auto Union. Worse quality and quantity.

Kill Bill 2 was totally action-free. For god sake 2 people were defeated by poking.

See, I think Ronin is more than just a big car chase, although it does have the best I've seen on film (and have tried to mimic in Crazy Taxi).

I love the depiction of "real" spies, and it surprises me that no. 1 James Bond fan Andrew doesn't like it more.