The dark side of the Internet

Sometimes the internal monologues of people you come across on the Internet can get skin-crawlingly repulsive. My co-worker Andy brought today's example to my attention: pro-anorexia online communities.

As the name implies, pro-anorexia (or "pro-ana") people are anorexics who feel that starving themselves into double-digit weights is not so much a "disease" as a "lifestyle choice."

A scary, frightening lifestyle choice.

The pro-anas gather in groups to support each other in fasting, exercising too much, and obsessing over their body images, rather than encouraging each other to, you know, maintain a healthy body weight, nutrional diet, and non-insane exercise program. It's all one big, happy family of enablers.

Here are some choice examples of pro-ana dialogue:

Ok girls i am having some major difficulties here. you all probably know how i feel right now. I'm like sobbing...it's so frustrating. Now to refresh, i've been ana for like 7 years, but for the past few months i've binged like crazy out of depression. a couple weeks ago i started a restrictive diet...and i HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT.

like for instance, today i had:

2 pickles - 0 cals
1 small bag popcorn - 100 cals

100 cals, right?

And i've started taking hydroxycut today.

but...i'm STILL AT THE SAME WEIGHT. I mean i've tried EVERYTHING. I really need some help. It's making me so frustrated i don't know what to do.

- tear_ducts

More:

So, I lost about 15 pounds...good right? wrong. I was looking in the mirror and I noticed stretch marks. Probably from going up and down on my weight..does anyone eles have this problem? Is there some creams to make them go away? Im fasting for 3 days so if anyone wants to be fasting buddies let me know.

-sexii_darling

I'm still at 115.

I've been eating quite a bit lately.. or, at least, the past two days. I'm not even gonna try to list how much I've eaten.

But, some nice esteem-boosting happened last night... my friends and I had to break into my friend's car because he locked his keys in. After thinking for about 30 minutes and trying various different things, the guys decided they would pull the top of the door back to try to get something in there to unlock it. They decided my arm would be the best choice. "Who needs a wire hanger when you have Sarah?" That made me feel a bit better... as did being hit on at the bar about an hour later, but that's a whoooole 'nother story.

-painful blue

hey girls, I haven't written in such a long time... i miss you all! i just got back from visiting my gramma, who reads tabloids. She has last week's Star issue (i think it was last week's) with Mary-Kate Olsen's bony back on the cover. she told me if i kept not eating, my back would look like hers. i told her, good. she made me go to the bathroom and show her my back so she could compare the two and i was hoping for her to say, "oh my god, it looks the same!" but unfortunately she said, "well you're not there yet but you will be if you keep starving yourself." so that's what i'll keep doing. since i've gotten back she keeps calling with diets (she's a nutritionist) which is cool, but they're all like 1100 calories a day, which is a lot for me. she says that girls our age shouldn't go more than 2-4 weeks on less than that or we'll be "about six weeks from death" but i just want to be thinner! ergh.. oh well. of course, i say all that and then i go and eat M&Ms, a Dean & DeLuca chocolate bar, AND a grilled cheese sandwich - ALL IN ONE DAY. Plus a bowl of cereal. well, like they say, tomorrow's a new day

- dirtysymbolic

Yick. And those are just from the Livejournal pro-ana community. There are other discussion boards and the like out there:

i feel that in a perfect world, exercise and dieting in moderation would be the best way to shrink HOWEVER we are not in that perfect world so....for me......simply--no food. common sense. no food goes in. i remember after a really long fast (needed to look good for a wedding) - i stood brushing my teeth and really looked at myself in the mirror and i kid you not, it was the best feeling in this galaxy. nothing is worse than being FAT. nothing. here is a weird question, but i have friends/coworkers that are huge and they never seem to care that they are huge. i mean, they outwardly seem happy. what is that all about???? does anyone notice this or am i nuts? i see a lot of fat people and they appear happy and in bliss...in the supermarket....in the mall etc...it is like they find looking horrible acceptable and they are at peace with themselves. how can that be???.....just a thought.....
peace to all,
~C~

This brings us to The Most Disturbing Thing I've Read on the Internet. And I've read some disturbing, repugnant things on the Internet. But this may take the cake (no pun intended). This lady will surely haunt my nightmares forever. (This Livejournal post has since taken down but is mirrored here.)

This may sound weird. I just need some feedback/ advise?

ok so i work in a daycare (as some of you know) .... For children aged from birth to 5 years. The children bring their own food from home and it is my job to make sure they eat it, are able to eat it (may need to be fed if they are babies) and are able to open their food/ containers whatever? We also feed the babies their bottles of formula. I got given the job of lunch/ snack times because I show such an avid interest in it. I love getting the lunches out and setting them down on the table.. feeding the children and watching them eat. I also love controlling them.. this sounds sick but. I water the babies milk bottles down so the calories are cut, if a child has the choice of a fruit bun or carrot sticks I make them eat the carrot sticks. I give them water not juice. And if the child has any junkfood of any sort I take it away from them. When it comes to babies food the mums usually give a choice.. if there is say, custard or veges, I give them vegies. what the hell. Am I just so frigan weird? I'm like obsessed over meal times at the daycare. Im psyco. I take the crust off their sanwiches, and if im feeding the babies I never allow them to finish an entire bottle or dish of food. Even if they scream. If a kid tells me "I'm hungry" I ignore them and get them outside and do running games / exercise.

Is this child abuse? I really become another weird person at daycare mealtimes. ps- i never eat at work. ever.

is this another control game?

The writer was, appropriately, eviscerated by those who replied. But still, this is so very scary if it's true. It really gives you a sense of how truly insane people are.

So, thanks, Internet! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark, curl up in the fetal position, and eat some cookies.