Frequent Furdell commentor and Asian gambler Pup recently wrote:
"Once again, I must say. Surrender = Dumb"
Those of you less familiar with the game of blackjack may not know what the hell Pup is talking about. Allow me to rebuff him and illuminate your soul with gambling knowledge, all at once.
Sure, you know how to hit and stand. You've even heard of people doubling down and splitting, and that sounded fun. But has anyone ever taken you aside to describe the most glorious play of all -- the blackjack move known only as "Surrender"?
It's so easy to do. First, look at your cards in abject horror. Then, look back at the dealer and say, "Surrender," or "I surrender," or "Send my ass to a POW camp, because I'm just about to surrender all over this mofo." The dealer will raise an eyebrow; everybody else at the table will either be confused or will mock you; and you'll get half your money back.
Those of us who enjoy to surrender are often ridiculed by our strictly hit-or-stand peers. Well, I'm here to tell you that those peers are retarded -- and here's five excellent reasons why.
1. First and foremost, when used properly, surrender is a move that will increase your long-term odds. I've noticed that these same peers who mock us for the surrender, also mock the dealer for even offering Insurance (the 2-1 sucker bet that pays off when the dealer's ace is part of a blackjack). So, it's stupid to take a sucker bet -- but it's also stupid to make a move that saves you money? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
2. When you surrender, the dealer often has to yell "Surrender!" to the pit boss. The only other time those guys talk to each other is when someone cashes a large amount of money, or when someone colors up their chips. These people need to communicate more often.
3. If you're thinking that surrender is a move for people who don't want to gamble, well, the gamble happens when you sit down at the blackjack table and put money in front of yourself. Making bad decisions just makes you a stupider gambler, not a bigger one.
Think about it this way: a big gambler bets on long shots, to be sure. But he also gets paid off enough to justify those long bets. If you bet $100 on a 10-1 shot, but the payoff was 20-1, well, you're probably going to lose, so that's a big gamble -- but you're definitely making a good bet. That makes you a pretty smart gambler. Most people still probably wouldn't take that bet, because betting that much money to win that seldom is scary, but that's where gamble comes into it.
And if you want a game with poorer odds than blackjack, by all means, the casino is chock-full of 'em. You don't have to play blackjack poorly; you can play Let It Ride well!
4. Here's the Furdell.com Surrender Guarantee: When you surrender, you will strike up a conversation with the busty tourist to your left. She's never seen anyone surrender before, nor has she even heard of that move. And she desperately needs the tutorial that only your hard body can give her.
5 You only have to do it in four easy-to-remember situations. They are: when you hold a fifteen against the dealer's 10; or when you hold a 16 against the dealer's 9, 10, or ace. And that's it! Compare that to doubling down, which you have to do in a staggering thirty-nine different situations, and you'll see that Surrender is the best move of them all!
I hope this stops the Surrender controversy once and for all. This has been Andrew Furdell, gambling genius. Until next time, I'll see you at third base.
Word, my brother. My actual brother.
That was the most well written, coherent, logical explication of the virtues of surrendering at a blackjack table I've ever read.
And yet, I will still call you a huge pussy EVERY SINGLE TIME you surrender in my presence. Why? Because that's not what blackjack is about (and because I'll probably be drunk). Unless you bust, you damn well better have some cards and some chips in front of you when the dealer flips his or her hole card. Otherwise, why are you wasting that spot at the table, which could otherwise be filled by an Asian woman who speaks no english and tries to hit on 19?? Better yet, take her and give her your surrender tutorial, leaving the seat open for the local guy who looks only vaguely like Willie Nelson, drinks black coffee, and calls the matronly Filipina dealer "Sweetie" as she throws down his 14.
Never surrender. Never.
Look, if you want to play blackjack wrong, that's fine. But if you're willing to do that, why aren't you willing to play other casino games that have more of a house edge? By refusing to surrender, you're increasing the house edge from .36% to .44% -- and that's assuming you play perfectly. Factor in your refusal to hit on soft 18 against a nine, ten, or ace, and you may as well be playing Caribbean Stud.
Also: I don't understand your aversion to single-deck blackjack. The house edge is a paltry .17%, and best of all, you're not even allowed to surrender. That ought to be right up your alley.
Since I've been drinking for a while now, I feel that this is a good time to respectfully respond to the very well written argument put on by young furdell on the merits of Surrendering..
In argument 1, you mention that it saves you money? But does it? Surrending means automatically losing half your money. Granted yes, it doesn't look good, but you're giving up without real proof of what's there. Just what you think it's there. It may be a 10, but it could just as well be a bust card. I think we've learned from our government that assuming shit doesn't usually work out. Giving up is never good.
Argument 3, wanting to gamble doesn't make you a bad gambler. Surrendering isn't gambling, it's just giving the house money.
Argument 4 is Brillant. It has convienced me to change my stance from NEVER surrender to Surrender only when big titties are around. Well done.
I think old furdell has proven several times that playing purly on statistics is not always the way to go. On gray area calls like this, it's all about the feel. And if there's a cool song playing in the casino. I personally prefer the Sarah/Dido all in strategy.
This has been brought to you by Asian Gambling.. All Asian all the time.
Never argue with the Wizard.
In the situations Andrew describes, the average return on your bet is less than 50 percent. Thus, to minimize your losses, surrender half your bet.
"Feel," sadly, has nothing to do with it. Unless you know which cards are coming. In which case, please tell me.
In argument 1, you mention that it saves you money? But does it?
Yes! Surrender is a move with negative expectation, because you stand to lose exactly half your bet, all the time. That's bad. But when you have, for example, a 16 against the dealer's 10, you stand to lose all your money more than 75% of the time. If you lost 75% of the time and won 25% of the time, then your negative expectation would be equal to that of surrendering; if you stand to win less than 25% of the time, surrendering is the better move.
Argument 3, wanting to gamble doesn't make you a bad gambler. Surrendering isn't gambling, it's just giving the house money.
I agree: wanting to gamble does not make you a bad gambler. But don't confuse "surrender" with a casino game. Surrender isn't gambling; it's one move in a gambling game. Gambling is playing blackjack; not surrendering when you should, is playing blackjack poorly.
Being that we are not professional gambler who does this for a living, I think playing purly on statistics loses some of the fun of gambling. Should you play badly and ignore all rules from statistics? No. That would make you a dumbass. But I think when we're there to gamble, it's fun to go for a long shot or bet against the odds every now and then. Surrending is simply too safe a play to travel hundreds of miles to do.
$5 bet.. Surrender? Hell no bitch I don't want your damn Pinko $2.50 chip!
I'm also hating blackjack right now cause I lost $200 last weekend at the boats. Luckily the dice Gods were happy with me so I evened out.
Surrender isn't any "safer" than hitting or standing. It's just part of the game -- there's no reason not to make use of it if it helps you.
Also: It's not like I'm on the plane, thinking "I can't wait to get to Vegas so I can SURRENDER!" I'm thinking more about playing blackjack in general.
Also also: I'm all for taking a long shot. But I'd rather take a long shot that pays off well. Why should I bet even money on something I'll win less than 25% of the time? I'll gladly play 16 against a 10, when it starts paying off 2-1.