Anatomy of a countdown: Feb. 10, 1982

Way way back in the 1980s, little Jamie would often spend Sunday mornings listening to Casey Kasem's American Top 40. The four-hour program was already by then a radio institution, serving as a compendium of what was popular that week in pop music. There were big debuts, top 10 smashes, little-known up-and-comers, long distance dedications, and, of course plenty of crappy follow-up hits by artists who couldn't quite recapture the original magic.

The show itself had an interesting history. It started on July 4, 1970 and experienced a growth in popularity as the years went by. In 1988, Casey was involuntarily and inexplicably replaced by Shadoe Stevens, a perpetual Hollywood Square who seemed just a little too smooth to fill Casey's shoes (besides, his name was Shadoe... give me a break). Casey started his own countdown, Casey's Top 40, and successfully competed with Shadoe for years. Oddly enough, both countdowns ran on my hometown pop station, WAPE in Jacksonville, on Sundays; Casey in the morning, Shadoe at night.

By 1995, pop music had seemed to splinter off into alterative rock and R&B, and both countdowns were shut down. But in 1998, American Top 40 was revived with Casey at the helm. The revamped countdown successfully adapted to new tastes in pop; few things cheer me up more than hearing 70-year-old Casey seamlessly introducing "In Da Club" by 50 Cent. I hope I'm that cool at that age. (Hell, I wish I was that cool now.)

Sadly, Casey was recently once again sent packing, this time in favor of (please don't make me say it... ugghh) Ryan Seacrest.

Fortunately for me, over the years people have saved the original records and compact discs of Casey's countdowns. I've been collecting CD copies, which are great fun to listen to (and educational, too). Each countdown is like a time capsule that transports you back in time to that week, and some of the facts supplied by Casey about the artists are interesting; often it's stuff I didn't know before.

(Sadly for me, the Internet message board that was serving as a trading post of sorts for American Top 40 collectors has gone defunct, so if any AT40ers happen to Google this, leave me a message so we can trade!)

I just got a new batch of countdowns to add to my collection list. We listened to one on the way to our anniversary dinner, an episode from April 10, 1982. That was actually before I got into pop music, when I moved to Jacksonville in late summer 1983, but I figured it would be fun to fill in some of the 1980s blanks in my collection.

And wow, what a weird time April '82 was for music. Every so often I'll come across a countdown that seems to have occured during a musical dead zone, when especially creative or memorable songs were hard to come by. This was one of those; we had just gotten over disco a couple years ago, hadn't yet gotten to the following year's British Invasion of the pop charts, and were still lamely trying to recreate the music of 15-20 years before as part of a nostalgia kick. Here are some of the high/lowlights:

40: THE OTHER WOMAN - RAY PARKER, JR

You got real lucky with "Ghostbusters," my man. Really, really lucky.

36: THEME FROM "MAGNUM P.I." - MIKE POST
35: POP GOES THE MOVIES (PART 1) - MECO
34: THE BEATLES MOVIE MEDLEY - THE BEATLES

This countdown was fully of cheesy items like these. A TV theme, followed by two medleys. The Meco medley features themes from several films, including Gone With the Wind and The Magnificent Seven, bizarrely set to a disco beat. They loved their medleys back in the early '80s, apparently.

33: MAMA USED TO SAY - JUNIOR

This is actually a really good, somewhat forgotten soul chart hit. Highly recommend if they happen to have it on iTunes. Plus he does that funny raspy thing in his throat when he says "Mama". Ask Kimberly to replicate it for you.

32: BOBBI SUE - THE OAK RIDGE BOYS

One of those "could have come from the early '60s" songs. See also ELO's "Rock and Roll is King" in 1983.

30: ALWAYS ON MY MIND - WILLIE NELSON

Whoa, I wasn't going to mention this one, but I'm watching TV and it's playing in a Levi's commercial. That thing about 20-years-later nostalgia holds true today.

28: I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME - CHARLENE

This one really sounds like a throwback to those treacly ballads from the '70s. The title kind of gives that away. Yet another singer trying to emulate the success of Karen Carpenter or, I don't know, Bread.

25: GET DOWN ON IT - KOOL & THE GANG

How you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance?

By standing on the wall?

Get your back up off the wall.

24: DID IT IN A MINUTE - DARYL HALL & JOHN OATES

Do you know how many Top 40 hits these two had? Neither do I, because our number system doesn't reach that high. Seriously, every countdown I have seems to have one of their songs, and it's usually a boring vanilla-bland concoction like this one. But for every five of these, they would put out a huge mega-hit like "Maneater" or "Private Eyes" or "Out of Touch," and so all would be forgiven, I guess, for the likes of crappy follow-ups "Possession Obsession" and "Everything Your Heart Desires," both now completely forgotten. As is "Did It In a Minute." Rightfully so.

Crappy follow-ups rule.

I'm Oates.

23: MY GUY - SISTER SLEDGE

Know what's awesome?

Apparently, 1964 is awesome.

19: TAKE OFF - BOB AND DOUG McKENZIE

This one blew my mind. It's a song based on the SCTV comedy skit called "Great White North"... and we're so hard up for music in April 1982 that this is at #19. Bob and Doug (Rick Moranis and non-Wendy's Dave Thomas) do their stereotypical backwater Canadian bit over an over-produced version of their theme song, which includes backing vocals by Geddy Lee of Rush. Whom I initially thought was a female vocalist.

Honest mistake.

14: PRETTY WOMAN - VAN HALEN

Know what's still awsome? Still, you know... 1964.

11: PAC-MAN FEVER - BUCKNER & GARCIA

Yet another novelty song, and this one had just fallen out of the top 10.

And, as far as Buckner & Garcia songs go, it's not quite as good as "Do the Donkey Kong."

Oh, you think I'm kidding?

Naw, man.

Rounding out the countdown:

10: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE - HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS
9: KEY LARGO - BERNIE HIGGINS
8: THAT GIRL - STEVIE WONDER
7: OPEN ARMS - JOURNEY
6: DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS - RICK SPRINGFIELD

Rick Springfield, still a couple years shy of producing the consensus worst song ever.

5: MAKE A MOVE ON ME - OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN
4: FREEZE FRAME - J. GEILS BAND
3: THEME FROM "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" - VANGELIS
2: WE GOT THE BEAT - THE GO-GO'S
1: I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL - JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS

Not a very hard-core Top 5. Good ol' ONJ at #5, plus some grrrl power (pronounced "grrr-earl") at #1 and #2, but they're not very good songs (at least, according to the Juice Newton Scale of '80s female-led pop songs). And I can't listen to "Chariots of Fire" without laughing these days, it's been parodied so much.

Until next time, this is James, signing off and sailing away to Key Largo.

James - 2:30 AM