Well, it seems I'm the last to chime in about Vegas. Clearly if I'd seen Andrew taking out all the lanes at the gun store, THAT would have been the funniest thing I saw in Vegas, but I fear guns.
5) Hiking. For some reason, watching little pellets of hail bounce off of James' head struck me as funny. And also, there was a poodle wearing hiking shoes.
Little Pinz (wearing sandals): That poodle is wearing better shoes than me.
Poodle owner guy: Yep.
4) Robomatronic Neptune. The shopping arcade in Caesar's Palace has an aquarium at one end, atop of which sits a statue of what we conjectured was Neptune in all his glory. The statue comes alive every hour and puts on a show, complete with fake thunderstorms and some quarreling between some other family members whose statues pop up unexpectedly. The fact that it all took place in front of a Cheesecake Factory made it rather funny and pathetic, as opposed to fun and impressive, which I think is what they were going for. "I am Neptune, god of the sea! The waves obey my every command! And be sure to check out the fine collection of flannels behind you at Abercrombie and Fitch!"
3) M&Ms 3D! As if animatronic Roman gods weren't enough, James and I somehow found ourselves at the M&M store, waiting in line for the spectacular "Leaving my M in Las Vegas." I'm fairly certain we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. Since I'm sure you're all dying to know the plot, I'll recap it for you. In an Oscar-worthy performance, the red M&M loses his M by betting it on, wouldn't you know it, RED at roulette. We then accompany Red and his trusty sidekick Yellow as they try to retrieve the M in the world of Lost & Found, passing by such places as Lost Virtue and Lost Souls and going straight on to Lost Causes. Then some hijinks ensued, and I'll just put your fears to rest by telling you that the M was eventually recovered, and Red and Yellow did not get melted in the giant furnace, thanks to the ingenuity of those feisty little mini-M&Ms. It was totally awesome. (Please don't tell anyone I said that.)
2) The beef jerky store. That's right, a whole store in downtown Vegas devoted to jerky. Clam jerky, anyone? I hear it's particularly clammy.
1) LiAps. In the bitch seat. Pretending to be a moose.
Oh God Kimberly. I'm No. 1, and I swear to you that I haven't the faintest clue what the hell you're talking about. Oh God. Please call me and tell me. Immediately.
It seems I combined many funny things into one accidentally. The last one should read:
1b) LiAps, at the slot machine, pretending to be a Moose.
1a) LiAps, the entire rest of the evening.
No, seriously. I have no recollection of anything moose-related. I need to know. Please tell me.
I can't believe the Liberace museum didn't even make the top 5. Wow. This trip was filled with funny.
Oh no, I totally forgot about the Liberace Museum! That might have to be a post all its own.
Are you guys just fucking with the drunk guy, telling him he did something stupid cause you know he might not remember??
Seriously, LiAps, there's not much else to the story. I don't know why you did it, but there you were, thumbs on your temples, fingers waving in the air, making sounds that you claimed were moose-like, for which I'll have to take your word. James will back me up on this, he remembers.
Are you lying? Just like you were when you said you still like me? Damn, if I really did that, that's pretty funny. If anyone can explain why, I'd be obliged.