Moo-FIVE-tee!

Thanks to TiVo and Kimberly's wishlistery, we've been TiVoing (note illegal verbal usage) Gary Oldman movies. Humorously, that includes Luc Besson's abysmal sci-fi epic, The Fifth Element.

Seriously, I think this must have been one of those situations where Besson needed to make a flop, like those guys in The Producers. There's no way a movie could have intentionally been made this badly. It's got some of the worst acting performances in movie history, including the honorable Mr. Oldman as an intergalactic weapons dealer with an inexplicable and atrocious Southern accent. And the less said about the roles played by Luke Perry, Chris Tucker and WWF's Zeus, the better.

But the funniest part of this movie, and I'm sure Andrew will remember this, wasn't even in the movie. It was the promotional teaser material that proclaimed:

Yes, it mu5t be found. Long before "leetspeak" annoyed the world, Luc Besson confused us by replacing the letter "s" in the word "must" with the number 5. The first time I saw this poster, I read it as "It muft be found," since "five" starts with "f". But then, much as I now pronounce The 2wenty as "The Twooo-wenty," in order to mock this poster as strongly as possible, I started pronouncing it just like it's spelled: "mu-five-tee."

Then, to make things more ridiculous, in certain conversations with Andrew, I started randomly pronouncing the word "must" as "mu-five-tee." For example, "I absolutely mu-five-tee not see this movie." Good times.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I mufivetee continue this bad-movie festival by un-pausing Cannonball Run II, which Tivo was kind enough to Tivoly Tivo for me in a Tivoesque fashion. Hmm, It appears that Tony Danza is having an argument with a chimpanzee. I should have expected that.