Pinball, like they made in the old country

As I said, PAPA was great. I made the B-division playoffs, and, while practicing, I totally rolled over Future Spa. No kidding.

The best part was seeing some rare Italian pinball games. A company called Zaccaria in Bologna, Italy, was responsible for these, and for the most part they were hard to find in the States. Most of their games were made in the late '70s and early '80s, a time when the American pinball designers were going with darker colors to go with themes of sword and sorcery and sci-fi and fantasy.

By contrast, Zaccaria games featured bright colors, and often had transparent upper playfields, so that the artwork wouldn't be obscured. And, since they're Italian, they tend to hang out in cafes all day and whistle at all the girls who walk by. Zing!

Standard time-travel wear is, of course, skin-tight purple spandex and thigh-high boots.

Pinball Champ '82 is, obviously, the most accurate representation of pinball competition ever conceived. There were ALLLLL kinds of bikini chicks hanging out at PAPA.

(OK, not really, but I think I did see at least a couple pairs of pants that were pretty similar to what the pinball champ is wearing here... if only because some of the players' wardrobes haven't been updated since '82.)

Ahh, poor Mr. Pinball Champ '82. I mean, sure he's got the pinball trophy, he's got the bikini babes, and he's, apparently, gotten a hold of some pretty good psychadelic drugs, judging from the rocketships filling the sky and attacking Saturn. It all looks good from the outside. But does he feel fulfilled? Does that pinball trophy fill the pit where there should be a soul?

What will happen when the fame has subsided, and the girls have all moved on to Tron Champ '83?

I think about these things.

The Italians are prescient in that they successfully foretold that robots would, in the year 2179, turn on their captors in an effort to get some poontang. Actually, this robot looks suspicously like Darth Vader, but with a red cape. Because if you're going to go capture some human females, you might as well do it with some robo-style.

That playfield is great, and the pink "robot bridge" ramp is one of my favorites. Sending the ball across the bridge causes a bunch of "robot" bumpers to pop up on the playfield, much like the trolls in Medieval Madness would a decade later.

Zaccaria was also adept at creating images of pure, unbridled terror:

YAAHHHH!!

I'm generally not afraid of clowns, but... this backglass might make me a believer. Yow. That's hella-creepy. Scary clown.

Finally, everyone's favorite. It's a pasta, it's a butterfly, it's... Farfalla.

This one's breasts got a certain... je ne sais quoi to it nipples. Actually, those breasts are eye-catching, come to think of it, and they might even make you miss their impossibly detailed surroundings. The texture and complexity of this backglass is astounding, and it's far and away the most colorful thing you ever would have seen in an arcade.

And, of course, breasts. This game is definitely Italian.

However, as you may know, we are a nation of prudes, which necessitated a slight change to the backglass for American distribution.

Thus, you have the hot Italian version:

and the Pax Network-ified American version, where Butterfly Girl decides to throw on a sweater.

As Mario might say: that's-a lame.

Either way, the playfield is beautiful and brightly colored:

Amazing, and I love those butterfly drop targets. This game's also memorable for the vertical white mini-flippers in the outlanes, where a propery-timed flip could save you from an outlane drain (when lit!).

So there's my annual pinball report. I leave you with one of those scary mermaid-seahorse girls from Fathom (by Bally, not Italian) designed to give you nightmares. Bye!