I told you so: An ongoing investigation

Every now and then, the citizenry of Earth changes its mind and realizes I was right all along. In fact this happens so often, that every single time, I have to remind you of all the other times it happened, so that maybe, just maybe, next time you'll cut out the middle man and just listen to me in the first place. Yes, that day may never come. But I have to try.

What did you do this time? Well, it seems President Doofus's approval ratings just keep sinking, and suddenly everyone's starting to get the idea that the Iraq war was not such a great idea. Huh. Go figure. I mean, if you're all figuring this out now, then it must take some kind of genius to have realized it before the war even started.

Just to review, everything I said about the futility of the war more than a year ago still stands today. I, unlike you non-geniuses, do not have to change my mind at all, which is a very comfortable position for me. It's still entirely true that:

• Saddam didn't have weapons at all;
• Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11;
• we'll never frikkin catch Osama at this point, and he totally got away with it;
• we've made the world a slightly less populated, slightly less safe place for Americans.

Of course, if you'd just listened to me in the first place, we could have averted this whole disaster. Maybe saved thousands of lives. After all, you knew you'd eventually be admitting I was right all along (that's how it always happens, after all -- you must have noticed the pattern by now).

Perhaps next time. Just remember: Andrew's always right, and having your own opinion is an act of futility that won't last anyway. Next time, start out on the winning team -- Andrew's team.