Today I got surprise-insured after the morning news. It took like an hour to choose between completely awful benefits, but it's done, so you can start hitting me with cars now. In fact, it's retroactive to the first of the month, so you can start throwing me off buildings two and a half weeks ago.
Strangely, the people upstairs seem to be under the impression that I'm already full time. Does this mean I can scam them into thinking I should be paid for 40 hours of work? Probably not.
Also, Insurance Lady turned out to be the wife of Extra-Sweet First Prize Chili Guy, and she revealed that he only won (and by such a huge margin) because she voted forty times. (This was actually perfectly legal. The rules of the cookoff stipulated that ballot stuffing, at $1 per vote, was encouraged.) So, being reassured that the thing had nothing to do with chili and everything to do with strategy and investment makes me feel better.