Vapid Bond article in Slate

Was an Australian underwear model the best Bond ever? No, in fact, he was the worst. He had all the talent and charisma of a plank of wood with a leering happy face painted on it.

The article wastes several paragraphs arguing that On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Lazenby's only Bond movie, was good and was true to the book. True and true, but I'd say the film was good in spite of a lead who can't act. Also the article implies that Connery crawled back to the series after his career failed to take off, which goes counter to the more popular idea that the Broccoli family went crawling to Connery with a huge salary offer when they realized Lazenby couldn't act to save his life.

More mistifying to me is the author's disregard of other Bond actors for conflicting reasons. Roger Moore is "vapid" and Pierce Brosnan a "lightweight" compared to Connery and Lazenby (yeah, George Lazenby was just the picture of masculinity, right). But Timothy Dalton, the darkest, most violent, closest-to-the-source-material Bond, not to mention a man who can actually act, is "rightly forgotten." Unlike Lazenby, who's some kind of lost cinematic treasure. Huh.

Ah, but I see the author of the article is from Texas. That explains it. As we all know, all Texans are ignorant 100% of the time. Why don't we just let them secede already? WHY?