Blogging about your dreams: probably lame

Last night I stayed up late watching one of my favorite 80s coming-of-age sex romps, Fraternity Vacation. Yes, it only gets 3.2 out of ten stars from IMDB users, but what do they know? It's the only movie of its kind in which every single character, including the villainous rival fraternity brothers, their topless girlfriends, and Amanda Bearse, turns out to be really likeable in the end. And when the nerd loses his virginity to the unattainable girl that the two fraternities were making bets on, everyone seems genuinely happy to have learned a valuable lesson, and Tim Robbins crushes a beer can on his forehead. Seriously, this must be the most feel-good movie ever.

For whatever reason, watching this movie so late caused me to dream that I had written and directed a very faithful remake of FV contemporary Stewardess School (3.1 on the IMDB scale -- yeah, that's probably about right). Only in my version, when the two "male stewardess" main characters realize they're totally about to get laid after all, their mutual celebration devolves -- literally -- as they start to act like chimpanzees, complete with hopping and screeching. In the last shot, one of them throws his poop at the other. The movie is a huge critical success, and I do a magazine interview in which I confront the fact that I'm now being called "The King of Horror," even though I didn't really mean for it to scare people.