There's no easy way out

If Stallone wants me to see Rocky Balboa, he should stop putting out trailers and start forcing me to watch Slate's video slideshow of Rocky montages.

Worst assertion: "1982's Rocky III marks the franchise's descent into extreme narrative laziness", apparently because much of the story is told through montage. What's narratively lazy about paring down a story to its bare essentials and telling it -- to the tune of "Eye of the Tiger", no less -- in under three minutes? That's the narrative equivalent of one-armed pushups at the crack of dawn.

Runner-up: "This [the first montage in Rocky III] is the first indication of the Rocky series' penchant for reverse snobbery. An open display of wealth?appearing in an American Express ad, say?always portends doom. Contrarily, signs of poverty?like shadowboxing on the open road?reveal a steely resolve." I would argue that the first indication was in Rocky, wherein Rocky wore sweats and trained a lot while Apollo Creed just walked around in a suit making ridiculous statements.

Much better assertion: "Sergei Eisenstein might have invented the montage, but this four-minute scene [oddly enough, the training montage from Rocky IV] proves that Sylvester Stallone perfected it." Clearly true.