I was very close to deleting the Gilmore Girls season pass from our TiVo. For a couple of years now I have been exploring all the points on the Viewer Satisfaction Scale between "Moderately Annoyed" and "Eye-rollingly Exasperated," only occasionally watching an episode that brought me up to "Slightly Bemused." There was the stretch in which Rory started out being a homewrecker and ended up somehow stealing a boat, doing all sorts of other idiotic things in the meantime. And then, once we got our sweet Rory back, we had to deal with Lorelei's sudden transformation into a doormat this season. Not to mention the ridiculously accelerated and unrealistic Lane pregnancy. (Why can't anyone on the WB/CW make it out of their teenage years without getting married and/or knocked up?)
But I am quite loyal (or stubborn, if you want to think of it that way), and I kept on watching. And last week, the nightmare that was Lorelei marrying Christopher ended. I think we would all be better off just pretending it never happened. So, Gilmore Girls, let's make a deal. I will officially declare that the last thing I remember is Lorelei breaking up with Luke because she ultimatum'ed him and he blanched, and I will express my utmost confidence that since then she has battled her sadness with her usual wit and maturity, and has done nothing even remotely insane. And I will keep watching. Unless, of course, any of the following occurs:
-- Logan does something stupid (again). Rory freaks out and maybe even breaks up with him (again). Logan somehow convinces Rory that it’s her fault for being so damn sensitive and they get back together (again).
-- Either Lane or Sookie has their babies in any of the following clichéd fashions: 1) trapped in an elevator; 2) stuck in a car in traffic; 3) delivered by Kirk. (OK, that last one’s not a cliché, but it would still be really annoying.)
-- Rory and Logan get engaged and/or married. I know he’s a lot less irritating and evil than he used to be, but still. I won’t stand for it.
Deal?
Have they looked into checking the town's water supply for amphetamines yet? I don't know if they've noticed, but everybody is manic all the time.
You may enjoy this MadTV sketch.
Wait a minute, which one's Rorelai?
They are not always manic, they are always jealous. It is, apparently, the only emotion the writers of this season know of. Jealous over vegetable suppliers, hospital food deliveries, business dinners, bartending, bridge building, long lost daughter raising, you name any person, place, or thing on the show and they are somehow part of a jealousy plotline this season (that ultimately led nowhere). It reminds me of when Kurt and I got bored of school work and gave each other bizarre things or phrases that had to be worked into the next paper that was due. In other words, this season is so bad I believe it can only have been written on a dare.
Hey, I think I heard about that. "Crucifixin's" was one of those words, right?