Kimberly and I, and our friend David Cuddy, went to the Seattle Storm game tonight. (That's WNBA, by the way.) They got walloped by San Antonio, sadly, but we had good seats a couple rows from the floor, close enough to see a Lauren Jackson fan who came equipped with props. Amusingly, he made the AP writeup:
One Storm fan showed his support for Jackson, of Australia, by holding up a 4-foot plastic kangaroo every time Jackson scored.
I'm pretty sure the reason that made the article is because he kept accidentally bonking the AP reporter (sitting in front of him in press row) on the head with the kangaroo. That's definitely the best way to make the paper.
Meanwhile: the Storm mascot is Doppler, a purple fuzzy thing with a wind meter on his head. Really.
In the 2nd quarter, while Doppler was making his rounds around the lower level, he spotted me and Kimberly. He pointed at Kimberly's baby-filled belly excitedly, then pointed at me, as if to say, "J'ACCUSE!" Then he gave me the "shame on you" hand gesture. I, of course, don't feel any shame over Mr. Baby, nor being able to conceive. I was a only a little fake-concerned that flaunting my ability to do so would anger the Storm's largely lesbian clientele. Still, being made to feel ashamed of my unborn child by a large fuzzy purple mascot is just downright embarrassing.
But Doppler's a good... man? and not one to leave it at that. After leading all the kids in the arena in an on-court conga line, which is adorable...
...he started throwing out T-shirts to the crowd, one of which, at random, contained a $25 Discover gift card. And before throwing out the third one, he seemed to be heading in my direction. Sure enough, he threw a T-shirt right at me, and sure enough, it was the one containing the $25 gift card, which I happily held up for the Jumbotron camera. (I had already made a cameo appearance on the Jumbotron on a replay, giving my "get out" cheer after a great block by Jackson.)
He had to know he was giving me the gift card, right? He was clearly getting me back for making fun of me earlier. At least, that's what I'm going to believe in my heart for all time.
And as David and Kimberly noted, this brings my total winnings while attending sports events to:
- a cell phone (Braves)
- a home jersey (Braves)
- round-trip airfare to San Fran (BB&T)
- $25 gift card (Storm)
And a shirt! Which I promptly wore so I could give a triumphant pose outside the game.
So, as is tradition, I was forced to pledge my undying devotion to the Storm. Sadly, as you may have heard, they (along with the Sonics) might be moving to Oklahoma City or Kansas City or Las Vegas or who-the-hell-knows-where in a year or so, after the state rightfully decided that spending $300M on an arena for a $250M franchise wasn't worth pursuing. I'm looking forward to laughing at owner Clay Bennett 10 years from now when the Sonics struggle to attract fans; when that sudden realization hits that he moved from the 14th-biggest TV market to the 45th or 31st or 43rd market, respectively, it's going to be highly enjoyable. For all of us.
But it really will be sad when the Storm leave, because it's a cheap ticket that families can afford, with a devoted fan base (only some of them lesbians). And those ladies (the ones on the court) are great role models for all the Girl Scouts we saw dribbling orange-and-white basketballs up the sidewalk after the game. The rest of the nation doesn't really care for this league, but it's a big deal here... there's no way they're going to replicate that in any of those other cities. (For one thing, I think they're just getting over the whole "Women shouldn't be allowed outside the home thing" in Oklahoma City. So there's that.)
Meanwhile, we'll try to enjoy it while they're here. And I'll try to figure out what to spend my $25 on.
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