According to my sources (well, according to my brother and my girlfriend) I will never have abs. That's not to say I won't ever have abdominal muscles (I do hope to, one day), but merely that you'll never see them, due to a combination of my flabby, troll-shaped body, and my tendency towards laziness.
Well, apparently those sources never heard of science! I'm just a surgery away from washboard abs, which will be a nice contrast to my slight man-boobs. For $7000, I can't afford not to!
FTFA:
"The procedure takes an hour or two. But pain can persist for days afterward. Swelling can last for weeks or even months. (The after picture above was taken a little over a year after the surgery.) And there can be complications, such as infection and bleeding."
Sign me up!