A Day in the Life of Baby

I got some complaints that my last blog post was depressing. Sorry. I will attempt to make it up to you here. People have asked me what Alex and I do all day, so here is Alex's day, as interpreted by me.

5:15 a.m. Mommy, I'm up. Mooommmmy, I'm uuuuup. MOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY! Oh, hi. There you are. I thought maybe you couldn't hear me. What do you mean it's still sleeping time? It's getting up time! Up up up up up! I know it's still dark out, but it's winter in Seattle! It's always dark! Let's get up! No? Ok, fine. (Zzzzzzz)

5:30 a.m. OK, I'm up. For real. No more sleeping. Come and get me. COME AND GET ME! Hi again! Yay, I'm out of the crib! What are you doing? I don't want my diaper changed. No! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Whew, that's done. OK, I'm hungry, let's eat. Now, please. Now. Now. Now.

5:45 a.m. Mmmmmmmmm, milk.

6:00 a.m. Yay, let's play! Look at me, I can crawl! Oooh, there's my ring tower. I bet I can tip it over. I did it! I got all the rings off! Mmm, that orange one is delicious. The yellow one too. Oh, no, it's under the couch. Stupid couch. I'll move it with my head. Why isn't it moving? Oh well. Ooh, there's the post from my ring tower. I think I'll wave it around. (Bonks self on head with post.) Look, Mommy! Post! Oh, hey, there's my rolly balls. I can dump them all out. Look how they roll! Tasty, too. Did you know if I bang two rolly balls together it makes a noise? Cool, huh! Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Hey, I can bang them on the floor, too! Bang, bang, bang. Where's Mommy? Oh, she's in the kitchen again. It must be cooler in there than in here. I think I'll go see. Hi, Mommy! Look how I can stand up on the dishwasher! Can I play with that knife? Why not? Hey, look what I found under the stove! "Give that to Mommy, sweetie, it's dirty." Geez, what a killjoy. Hey, what's that big white thing with the hot air blowing out? I should stick my hand in it and see. "No touch, Alex, that's hot!" Yeah, whatever that means. (Touch. Get whisked away by Mommy.) Oh, hey, look, Daddy's up! Yay, Daddy! Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Look at me, Daddy! Aren't I cute? Let's play! Yay, the tickle game, my favorite! Yay, Daddy! Hey, where're you going? To work? Can I come? Oh. Can I at least play with your security badge and make you late? Solid!

8 a.m. "It's nap time, sweetie." No, it's not. "Let's read some books and have a nap." Yes to books, no to nap. Ooh, Little Nutbrown Hare, I love this book! Oh, now Mommy's singing to me. I think I'll just lay my little head down on her shoulder, but that should not under any circumstance be interpreted as me being tired. Nope, definitely not tired. I don't know why I'm in the crib now, I'm totally not sleepy. Not sleepy at all. Not sl -- (Zzzzzzzz.)

8:30 a.m. Nap time is over, Mommy! Hello? Anybody? Hi! What do you mean it's still nap time? Don't you see me standing here, ready to get up? "Lay back down, sweetie, it's still nap time." No, standing is better. "Lay down." No. "Go back to sleep." No. (Repeat until baby goes back to sleep or until Mommy gives up.)

9:00 a.m. Mmmmmmmmmm, milk.

9:15 a.m. Bye bye, jammies, hello big boy clothes!

9:30 a.m. Hey, there's my exersaucer. It must be Mommy's shower time. Listen, I can play piano with my feet! It's playing my favorite song, the Itsy Bitsy Spider! La la la la la. This rattle thing is pretty cool. Rattle. Rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle. This thing goes around, that's fun. Are you done yet, Mommy? I'm bored now. Hello? Finally. Get me out of this thing.

10:00 a.m. Let's play! I think I'll practice my standing. Look at me, Mommy! I can stand on the coffee table! I think I'll throw that coaster on the floor. And that one. And that one. Oh, hey, a remote control. I would like to watch channel ... 7. Hey, give that back. Fine. Oops, I fell down. Ow, my head! Mommy hugs, yay. OK, better now. I'd better practice my standing some more.

11:00 a.m. Mommy's getting my high chair, it must be lunch time! Up we go, yay! Cheerios, huh? I'm not so sure about those. Here's one for the floor, one for my lap, another one for the floor. OK, I'll put this one in my mouth. Oops, I missed. Let's try again. OK, it's in there, now what? Perhaps I'll use my new teeth. (Crunch. Makes a face.) Blech. I'd better try another one. But I'll dump some more on the floor first. Is Cheerio time over? It's oatmeal time now? OK. Yum. More, please. OK, how about some pears and raspberries now? That's what I'm talking about. Keep it coming. Yum. There's no more? BOO!

12:00 p.m. Mommy's putting my bear suit on me, that means we're going out. Yay, I love out. Ooh, we're going in the car. I have my own seat! Now we're rolling. I wonder where we're going. I like how my voice sounds. Uuuuummmmmm. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. Are you listening, Mommy? Aaaaaaaaaaaaagaaammmmm. Aaaaaaaaaaablbbbbb. Phhhhhffffffff. Hey, we're stopping.

12:15 p.m. I know where we are, it's Gymboree! YAY! GYMBOREE! There's Teacher Auna, YAY! Let's sing, let's play, let's dance, let's blow bubbles! It's over already? OK, I guess I am kind of tired after all that hard work.

1:00 p.m. "It's nap time again, honey." No, I don't think so. No sleeping. It's just not for me. Why do you keep putting me in my crib? I told you it's not nap time. I guess it's not so bad in here. I'll just roll over and close my eyes for a minute. (Zzzzzzz.)

2:30 p.m. I'm up!

2:45 p.m. Mmmmmmm, milk.

3:00 p.m. Bear suit again, huh? Where are we going now? Oh, my stroller. This oughta be good. A walk! There's a car. Cool. There's another one. And another one. There's a puppy. There's a bicycle. This is awesome! Oh, it's the coffee place. Hello, coffee people. Why are we just sitting here, Mommy? There's so many cars to see! OK, good, we're leaving. There's a truck! And a car! And some birds!

4:30 p.m. We're home! Hello, toys! Mommy put on Sesame Street. There's Grover! He's so funny.

5:30 p.m. Dinner! Peas? Are you sure you don't have anything better? OK, fine, I'll eat them.

6:00 p.m. DADDY!!!!!!!!! Yippppeeeeeee!!!!!!

6:30 p.m. "Let's get ready for your bath, honey." I'm naked! Hurray! Naked! Bath! Hurray! Splash, splash, splash! Look how cute I am, Mommy! There's my bath toys, I think I'll throw them over the side. Splash!

6:45 p.m. Mmmmmmmmmm, milk.

7:00 p.m. Here I am in my crib, again. What do I have to do to convince these people I'm not sleepy? Look, I can pull my sheet back. I can stand up. I can bite the crib rail. Here's my kitty cat, I think I'll fling him around. Let's stand up. I can make a squeaky noise with my feet on the crib slats, listen! Squeak. Squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. I think I'll put my head down for a minute. OK, that's enough. You thought I was going to sleep, didn't you, Mommy? Ha! Sucker. It's time for more standing. Hey, if I sit right here and rock I can bang my head on the crib and make a fun noise. Bang bang bang. More standing up. Hi, kitty cat, I forgot you were here! Mind if I grab your whiskers? I bet I can put my toes in my mouth. Hey, I was right! Let's try that squeaky noise again. Yep, still fun! I'm getting pretty tired now. (Yawn.) Must. Stand. Up. Oops, I fell down. Maybe I'll just stay down here. My eyes are tired. I think I'll close them. Open them. Close them. Open them. Close them. (Zzzzzzzzzz.)