Mothers, don't let your sons play Little League

At last, the mainstream liberal media admits that, with my July 28 birthday, I could never compete in an August 1 Little League cutoff world. All those hours spent sitting on a bench (or, occasionally, standing in a field), for naught!

Let this be a lesson to those of you out there with babies who, I dunno, lets say they were born in June. Unless you want your kid to be nicknamed "Puny Furdell" by high school quarterback "Flash" Thompson, convince him to take up golf or something. Something where you don't have to be tall.