Furdell Classic Cinema Theatre, Vol. IV: Zapped Again!

Cast of Characters:
a. Kevin, the new kid in town who stumbles on Scott Baio's secret stash. Whereas Scott Baio merely had to concentrate on his acting, this guy has to raise one eyebrow to activate his powers.
b. Lucy is the nerd-hot accomplice in this installment. I remember I recognized the actress, Kelli Williams, when I first saw this film in the 90s...but based on her IMDB page it must have been from the Quantum Leap episode she was in.
c. Wayne is the leader of the evil Key Club clique. He's got one dimension, and it's "jerk."
d. Miss Burnhart makes her triumphant return. She's been promoted from teacher to principal (those who can't teach administrate), and the principal from Zapped! The First is gone, so she's free to be pursued by...
e. Steroid-using NFL defensive lineman Lyle Alzado as Coach Kirby.
f. Making cameo appearances, we have Linda Blair as Miss Mitchell...
g. ...and Karen Black as an unnamed Italian substitute teacher. She adds absolutely nothing to the plot, but she does have a memorable scene in which she asks Kevin if his "linguini is ready for [her] clam". This is, presumably, a reference to a controversial scene from Spartacus.

a.

b.

c.

d.

e.

f.

g.

Hmm, when I put them all together like that they look a lot funnier than I expected. The whole truly is greater than the sum of its parts. Oh, by the way -- in the animated gif from before, Kevin is reacting to Principal Burnhart accepting Coach Kirby's marriage proposal over the school's loudspeaker. Why is Kevin so enthusiastic? That's not entirely clear. I guess he's just really, really happy for them.

Plot Synopsis:
Kevin is the new kid at Ralph Waldo Emerson High School, alma mater of Scott Baio from the previous movie. Kevin is good-looking, fun to be around, and obnoxious in a harmless, endearing way, but for reasons unknown he finds himself ostracized by the cool, rich, attractive kids at his new high school.

A quick note about cliques: As we all know, every movie about a kid going to a new high school has to have a scene in which we're introduced to all the different cliques, some of which must be comically unlikely. It's completely mandatory. Just to prove my point, here's that scene from the script to 10 Things I Hate About You:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY- CONTINUOUS

Prom posters adorn the wall. Michael steers Cameron through
the crowd as he points to various cliques.

MICHAEL
We've got your basic beautiful people.
Unless they talk to you first, don't
bother.

The beautiful people pass, in full jock/cheerleader
splendor.

MICHAEL
(continuing)
Those 're your cowboys.

Several Stetson-wearing, big belt buckle. Wrangler guys
walk by.

See also: Tina Fey's overrated big-screen debut Mean Girls and last year's blockbuster smash hit Oscar contender Bratz: The Movie. This scene is stupid and must be stopped.

As I Was Saying: Along with Kevin, we're introduced to Emerson High's various cliques as Kevin searches for a suitable after-school club to join. The rich attractive kids who hate him are in the Key Club (boo, hiss) which, according to Wikipedia, is generally not evil but devoted to volunteer work. Before Wikipedia existed, this film had me convinced that the Key Club was an excuse for snotty rich kids to make out and work on their abs.

Ruling out all the other clubs for being hopelessly specific (Ski Club, Diner's Club...the list goes on) Kevin winds up in the Science Club with nerd-hot Lucy. Science Club apparently meets in what used to be Scott Baio's laboratory.

Not unlike Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Zapped Again! takes some liberties with the continuity of its beloved franchise. You'll recall that in Zapped!, Scott Baio accidentally inhaled fumes from a mixture that he didn't create himself, and then he had telekinetic powers for the rest of the movie. Well, in the sequel, Kevin finds a stash of prune juice bottles filled with a potion that, when ingested, gives him temporary telekinetic powers.

How does Kevin choose to apply this power? Why, by lifting Linda Blair's dress, of course. Luckily she's from the Class of Scott Baio -- she explains that she was at the prom at the end of Zapped! -- and as you recall, everyone in the first movie found this behaviour charming.

In a key scene, Kevin uses his power to humiliate a girl who was nice to him, and celebrates with a patended Zapped Again! celebratory fist-pump. (Warning: PG-13 nudity.)

Here's where we depart again from the Zapped! franchise: Kevin is a nice guy, really, and does not spend the entire film ripping womens' clothing off for no reason. Sure, he still rips their clothes off, but it's always to prevent violence. Also, nerd-hot love interest Lucy does not want to exploit Kevin's powers for unbridled chaos; rather, she wants to synthesize his potion and sell it, presumably to various world militaries. So, still evil, but it's an evil you can negotiate with.

Due to their dwindling enrollment numbers, the Science Club is forced to relinquish its lab space to the Key Club, which turns it into a gym-slash-makeout-den. Kevin somehow gets Wayne to agree to a wager: if the Science Club can beat the Key Club at the annual Homecoming Penguin Race, then they can get their cool lab back. It plays out exactly like the "Camp Monk Academy" sketch from Mr. Show.

Unfortunately, the Key Club kids stashed some contraband in the lab, in the hidden compartment behind a framed picture of Albert Einstein. (In the film's most unsarcastically funny line, Wayne points out the contraband to Principal Burnhart: "Over there, behind that picture of Kenny Loggins!") Wayne then taunts Kevin and the gang as only a villain can.

To get off suspension, the Science Club kids have to...oh my god, I've only described about half the film. This movie is really complicated. In short: in exchange for getting them un-suspended, Wayne forces the Science Club to give away free weiners on behalf of the Key Club at some kind of nighttime school function, which they do, but they inject all the weiners with flea powder to cause everyone to have an allergic reaction. Meanwhile Wayne arranges for Kevin to dress like a girl and have tomatoes thrown at him, knowing that Kevin is deathly allergic to tomatoes, but Kevin uses his telekinetic powers to save the day, the end.

Oh, and there's a music video during the credits. As YouTube's redPHOENIX74 puts it, "The offspring of Boy George and Vanilla Ice sings a song while we get to see how much fun the cast had at our expense."

The Female Perspective^TM with Julia Katz:Pretty unmemorable film about teenagers in what looks like a Valley high school. Standout scenes include tomato throwing, and, let's see, what else, was there anything good...there wasn't much good, was there? Right, so he finds the serum behind a picture of Einstein -- I think that may have been the only connection between the two films, that picture of Einstein. [Kevin, the protagonist] and his girlfriend have this run-around, make out montage, but it was like she was babysitting him. It's like, they're in the kitchen, now they're behind the couch, now they're on the cabinets in non-sexual positions. It was stupid. It was like, this is not sexy at all. And they're teenagers, if they're in a room together they should be having sex. Science kids are nerdier than jocks, that's the conclusion of that film. That sex scene really confirms it, because that was pathetic. Maybe his linguini wasn't ready for her clam. (Note from Andrew: Julia reluctantly stayed awake for the entire film; and for the record, I think it was pretty clear that they had a lot of sex in that montage.)