July 28, 2005
Another thing you should be watching
...if you're a freak like me, is Wonder Showzen on MTV2.
I... I can't even adequately do it justice. It's a kids show on acid. Almost literally. Here's an article. TiVo it! In a Tivoesque fashion!
Random Hip-Hop Musical Interlude!
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me... Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me... Don'chaaaaaa!
(interlude over)
Seriously. We're talking hella-disturbing-ilarious. Don't watch this show if you're:
a) my parents.
I want you guys to continue to like me and think I'm a decent human being.
July 25, 2005
I bring news of funny things
Fox is re-running episodes last season's Arrested Development in two-hour blocks on Fridays, 8 p.m.-10 p.m. ET, starting this Friday. Set your TiVos now.
I'll wait.
...
Not to lay down an ultimatum or anything, but if you're not watching this show, you can't fucking be my friend. I'm sorry I have to draw such a broad stroke in the sand... um... in the cybersand, but it's basically the greatest miracle the world has ever seen that this show was renewed for a third season. Last year it got lower numbers than my blog, I think. So watch it.
Meanwhile: teasers and such are available for the Tenacious D movie. As soon as Andrew gets a break from making his own movie, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear this.
I told Andrew he had to try to work the AFLAC duck into his movie, but he refused. Then I suggested he should have the AFLAC duck playing poker with the Geico gecko, Kool-Aid Man, and the Hamburger Helper glove (who narrowly beat out the Arby's oven mitt during the casting phase). But he refused even more. So then I suggested stock footage of some buffalo being scared by nuclear explosions, but again I was rebuffed. So clearly he's never returning my calls again, once this thing he's working on opens wide. No associate producer credit for James!
July 23, 2005
Clonus update! Fiveson speaks!
The Seattle Times has the story.
Reached at his home in Ashburn, Va., "Clonus" director Robert S. Fiveson said Wednesday that he'd sneaked into a preview screening of "The Island" the previous night. "I went in hoping and praying that it was enough different than 'Clonus' so that I could just put my mind at rest and move on, but I can't. Because astonishingly enough, it not only seems to rest on the very skeleton of the film, ... there were enough (similarities) in the movie in the first third that I thought this cannot be happenstance or casual."
Whoa, he lives in Ashburn. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drive to his house and ask him what it was like to work with Darrin #2. (Kimberly's out of town... I need someone to annoy.)
July 21, 2005
They cloned a movie and raided it for spare parts!
My new laptop is the bickety-bomb. I'm typing this from a coffee shop, while sipping a latte. Wireless networking is one of the few things I adopted early that really caught on, and I'm glad, because it's the bestest invention ever. Take that, caveman who invented the wheel. Take that and like it.
Anyway, have you guys seen the ads for this new movie The Island? I've been boycotting Michael Bay movies ever since The Rock, which was so retarded it made me weep for poor Michael Biehn. And The Island was (and probably is) going to be no different. But the plot line caught my eye, because it seemed awfully familiar:
Lincoln Six-Echo (McGregor) is a resident of a seemingly utopian but contained facility in the mid 21st century. Like all of the inhabitants of this carefully controlled environment, Lincoln hopes to be chosen to go to the "The Island" - reportedly the last uncontaminated spot on the planet. But Lincoln soon discovers that everything about his existence is a lie. He and all of the other inhabitants of the facility are actually human clones whose only purpose is to provide "spare parts" for their original human counterparts. Realizing it is only a matter of time before he is "harvested," Lincoln makes a daring escape with a beautiful fellow resident named Jordan Two-Delta (Johansson). Relentlessly pursued by the forces of the sinister institute that once housed them, Lincoln and Jordan engage in a race for their lives to literally meet their makers.
The reason it seemed familiar was because I'd seen it before. And it had been called Parts: The Clonus Horror. And... it was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
MST3K, as you may know, has been highly influential in my life. Gleefully making fun of things using pop culture references is basically my whole bag, and it was MST that elevated that to an artform over 10 seasons. The Clonus episode was one of the more hilarious, considering the parade of D-List barely-ready-for-Match Game celebrities, like Digger Barnes from Dallas and the second, unfunnier Darren from Bewitched. And Peter Graves! And the plot went something like-a this:
A young man escapes from a govenment run project called Clonus only to find out that Peter Graves (Jeff Knight) a candidate for Presidency is a conspirator to keep Clonus a secret. Top government officials are aware of it and support the super secret project, because they are cloning themselves to live longer and better lives, at the expense of their clone counter-part, who is no more than a "slave" as far as human rights are concerned. The ethical and moral values are explored as the escapee (Tim Donnelly) known as Richard returns full circle back to Clonus, only to find his girlfriend lobotimized for government security purposes.
So, yeah: The Island is basically Clonus warmed over, but:
- Set in the future
- Plus a bunch of Michael Bay-esque car chases
- Minus the joy of seeing a parade of "Hey, it's that guy" quasi-stars
Blecch! Count me out. I prefer the original Clonus as seen on MST3K, which I just ordered on the Internet. In a perfectly legitimate and legal fashion.
Maybe not so legitimate was the way Dreamworks ripped off the idea. So sayeth Clonus director Robert Fiveson (whose name, as Mike noted in that particular MST3K episode, is Scandanavian for "Son of Five"):
The Island is not in any way sanctioned by me. In fact, Jeff Katzenberg saw [Clonus] in '78 as a possible pick up by Paramount, and commented at that time that if this was what I could do with a million, he would love to see what I could do with ten. The budget was $257,000---1/400th of The Island. I saw a trailer for it a couple of days ago and nearly soiled myself. There were so many similarities---not just in theme, but actual shots! I hope it does a lot of business; But more than anything else, I hope it gets publicly outed.
So there you go. For shame, Michael Bay; for shame. Um... again.
July 11, 2005
Megs of RAM!*
Yay, new computer for James!
It's a sleek new laptop, too. Primarily so that I can be cool and take it to coffee shops and use their wireless networking. (I'm so happy wireless networking has taken off. That's one of the few things I adopted early that actually panned out.)
Amusingly, the tiny laptop I'm getting kicks the ass of my current desktop. It's got three times the processing power, four times the megs of RAM, and five times the disk space. This is because my desktop was built in 1999, right as I started at Georgia Tech. And right now that seems like a hella, hella long time ago. (It's got a Pentium III, for pity's sake. Had the Internet even been invented yet?)
Anyway, I finally decided it's time to ditch it. When I turn it on, it makes this awful rattling noise, like an old car trying to start up. It can barely run the new Firefox browser. How did I let it get this bad? I'm a computer scientist, goddammit. I should be ashamed. Look for me at Starbucks.
(*-"Megs of RAM" is our trademark computer nerd phrase. If you want to make me feel ashamed of my dorkiness, simply yell this at me. Preferably using Andrew's voice.)
My travails
Today was pretty rough. I had to finish my test roll, which is where you run around frantically setting up and shooting subjects in various stages of light and shadow, distance, movement, etc. I was supposed to do this with a classmate, but he disappeared without a trace and became unreachable by cell phone. With an 8:30pm deadline, I scrounged up who and what I could to do the final 3 shots, and got the film in with more than an hour to spare. Phew.
Unfortunately I failed to get around to the location scouting and script revision I had planned to do (ah, lofty goals). But I did one other thing I was totally proud of...
So I'm driving frantically to the Zemeckis Center, where two classmates are holding auditions. One of them, Zack, has offered to loan me his light meter, which, as it turns out, is a completely essential and super-expensive piece of equipment.
But when I reach the place, I realize my clock isn't working anymore. Not a problem -- I'll just use my new awesome stereo's clock function. Oops, that doesn't work either. No stereo, no clock.
Being, as I am, not too well-versed in automobile maintenance, I was befuddled as to why some parts of my car's electrical systems would work while others would not. I contemplated some possibilities in my head -- had the battery cut out all nonessential systems because I had left the headlights on? (I hadn't left the headlights on -- I had turned them on when I got into the car, then noticed that they were on, turned them off, and couldn't remember if I'd turned them on in the first place or not. And I'm paranoid.) Had the people who installed my stereo deliberately sabataged the wiring so that I'd have to give them more money?
After consulting the car's manual a few times, it occured to me that a broken fuse was the likely culprit. And so, all by myself mind you, I:
- Extrapolated the location of the dead fuse;
- Figured out how to remove a kick plate;
- Used the word "extrapolate" in a sentence;
- Located a spare fuse under the hood;
- Totally identified the dead fuse;
- and, replaced said fuse.
And now everything works again. I'm so smart! Yayyyy.
Whoa. Most boring blog entry ever. I apologize.
July 9, 2005
A Tip to Actors
Don't put Blind Date on your resum?'s list of TV work. Elimidate is also not as impressive as you'd think.
That is all.
July 7, 2005
So, I've been busy.
Yes, it's been a while. As you may know, I made a long drive from Atlanta to Las Angeles in order to participate in a summer course on 16mm filmmaking.
This class is pretty intense. Calendars tell me we're in week 2, but it feels like a lot of time has passed, because every day is packed. Hours of work has gone into learning how to use a real-live film-using movie camera (I've only ever used boring old mini-DV tapes). You have to pay close attention to things like light density and f-stops and depths of field and things I've never given much thought to.
Equally time-consuming is the script-writing process, which I think is almost over for me. My script is actually based on one of law-student-friend Kurt's offhand remarks, so Kurt, if you're reading this, thanks for making off-hand remarks, and I promise to share some portion of the $0 projected earnings.
Now I'm in the daunting process of auditions, another thing I've never done. In fact I've never worked with professional actors before. It turns out finding them is surprisingly easy, thanks to the interweb. I posted a casting call, and in a moment I'm going to sift through about 100 resum?s of actors who are, bafflinging, willing to work for free and for some idiot who doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Some of these actors have been in TV shows or movies that I've watched. So totally weird.
So anyway, that's where I am right now. This weekend I'll do some test shooting, just to make sure I actually do know how to operate a camera. I'll cast my movie (only two characters, thankfully). I'll do some rewrites. Then next week the real work begins.
July 6, 2005
July 1, 2005
Goin' to Boston!
I'd better practice.
CHOWDAAAA!!!
RED SAWWWWX!!!!!!
OK, I'm ready.