July 2007 Archives

It's easy enough to pop open a Pabst Blue Ribbon while you watch Blue Velvet, or to pour a shot or six of whiskey for just about any Western film ever made. But some films have more complicated beverage accompaniments. That's where Furdell Dot Com comes in.

Julia and I just got back from The Simpsons Movie, which was fronted by a trailer for Daddy Day Camp, the sequel to Daddy Day Care, in which Eddie Murphy inexplicably starts a day care center in spite of being actionably inept.

This trailer is remarkable. Here are some highlights...

1. Eddie Murphy has been replaced by Cuba Gooding, Jr. Think about that. Eddie Murphy, the man currently best known for his multiple roles in the career-defining Norbit -- a film so bad, you can rent it from the McDonalds "Red Box" service -- was not willing to appear in this sequel. For his stand in they had to get Norbit co-star and Oscar^tm winner Cuba Gooding, Jr. (Best Actor, Radio¹)
2. In fact, this film is so un-promising that absolutely nobody from the original wanted to be involved, as evidenced by the ominous phrase, "From the studio that brought you Daddy Day Care." Really. You thought it was overboard when they started marketing films as being "from the producer of" other films. Well, they've taken it a step further. My question: Why not say it's from the studio that brought you Spider-Man 2?
3. One of the best trailer lines, possibly ever...Cuba's skeptical wife, upon hearing his premise-inducing plan to take Daddy Day Care to its next logical step, points out: "But you hate the outdoors!" Sounds like a recipe for ZANY!!!

Will DDC2 be the next Snow Dogs? Or will it turn out to be another Boat Trip?² Keep your browser tuned to Furdell Dot Com -- your headquarters for all things Daddy Day Camp-related -- for round-the-clock coverage. You know, you should really set our site as your browser's home page.

¹ I assume.
² I think that how you interpret the last two sentences says a lot about you as a person.

Julia and I are moving to Seattle on Wednesday, and today is my last day directing at KEZI. In under two years, I worked my way up from part time "technical" director on morning shows, to full-time real-life director of the station's signature show: the hour-long 6pm/6:30pm broadcasts. (I also direct the 11pm news, but nobody cares.) Quite an achievement, I think, for someone with absolutely no television experience coming into this place. I've had a lot of fun here, and learned a lot. Hooray for me.

After many months of practice, directing live television has become a bit too easy for me, so in a way I'm glad to be moving on to new challenges. In fact, directing is so easy that I can do a perfect job even while typing during commercial breaks and long packages.

Behold: the text of Stan Lee's "Soapbox" column, as it appeared in all Marvel comics cover-dated April 1992, just over ten years before Sam Raimi's Spider-Man was released in theaters. Bold emphasis is mine; caps or italics are all Stan; and I've added hyperlinks to explain the references that only nerds would understand.

Hi, Heroes!

Remember this date -- October '91! It was one of the biggest, most important months in the halcyon history of mighty Marvel! What made it so important? Hey, I thought you'd never ask!

In previous Soapboxes I gave you a number of hints about big things happening out here in Hollywood, big things that I wasn't free to talk about until the contracts were signed and the deals were closed. Well, now it's official! The biggest movie project we've ever planned is now under way -- and if you guessed SPIDER-MAN, then award yourself a twelve-cylinder no-prize with fuel injection!

But here's the most exciting part -- guess who's gonna write, direct, and produce the first ever big-budget, feature film of the world's most famous wall-crawler? Wouldja believe James Cameron?!! That's right, Bunky, the same fabulous, super-fantastic filmmaker who bestowed upon a wildly cheering, wide-eyed world such monster hits as ALIENS, THE ABYSS and the two titanic TERMINATOR thrillers! So you can take this to the bank, Believer -- SPIDER-MAN is destined to be the biggest, boldest, baaaaadest blockbustin' bombshell of a super hero action extravaganza ever to hit the screen!

Now then, before you start bombarding us with letters and phone calls asking who's gonna star in our fabulous forthcoming flick, or who the villain will be, let me advise you that those decisions haven't yet been made. First, the story has to be structured and then a screenplay written. That will probably take months because we're all determined to make it the greatest action thriller of all. But as soon as more info comes through, even faster than you can wiggle your webs you'll get the scoop via the ol' Soapbox column as well as in the various newsletters we'll be sending to all the Wild Agents of Marvel!

And next issue, on this very same page, if Irving Forbush doesn't elope with Aunt May in the next thirty days, I'll bring you some additional exciting news about X-MEN hitting the screen! Who says this isn't the Marvel Age of Awesome Announcements?

Excelsior!

Backstory: I've been looking for this Soapbox for years, because I remembered Stan's empty promise from my misbegotten youth. I just happened across it while reading Iron Man #279, part 13 of the sprawling Operation: Galactic Storm crossover.

Cameron's treatment for his aborted Spider-Man movie was so long that it's popularly called a "scriptment," and apparently it's available online. Apparently the bad guy was Electro (but as a suit-wearing business executive rather than an accident-prone electrician). As I recall, back then they were touting Leonardo DiCaprio as Peter Parker. What a different, darker world this could have been.

X-Men of course didn't come out until July 2000. I've not found the May 1992 Bullpen Bulletin, but I will, Stan. And your lies will be exposed for all the world to see! I will have vengeance, Stan Lee! Yes I will!

2007-07-13 011, originally uploaded by JFurdell.

Hey, just testing out the ability to blog photos directly from Flickr. This was one of my favorites from the other day when we all went to the park for a sunset picnic.

Also fading into the sunset: my paternity leave, as I start back to work next Monday. Saddddd...

You heard it here first!

Trolling the torrent-verse this week, I found an album that seems to suit me perfectly. It's called Underdogs Never Say Die: Best of 80s Movies Fight Back Rock Anthems. Wordy title. It has like three songs from Rocky IV, so I'm sold.

Well, I downloaded it, and it doesn't have any kind of track listing. I thought I'd Google it to find out the retail version's track order.

But...there is no retail version! I didn't steal an album at all -- I got someone's mix tape!

I've never seen anyone share a mix tape on the internet before, so I'm hereby declaring this the Next Big Thing. Remember me when you read about it in Wired or whatever. I found it first.

I was happy to help out Tim Catts of BusinessWeek with his story about the technical problems some free online contests have had lately, including ESPN's fantasy baseball game (as you recall I detailed problems with them hea-ah, and hea-ah).

Later, when he noticed that he couldn't pick up players other teams had dropped, even days after the fact, Furdell decided to sit out the season. ESPN had a problem.

I like that. Take heed, ESPN. When you wrong the Furdell, YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

It's true, I haven't even looked at my team since they reset the rosters. Kind of a shame, because with the Mariners actually playing kind of well, and me on paternity leave, I've been following baseball pretty closely. I've been to several great games in person this year... a tight 2-1 win over the Yankees, a great come-from-behind win over the B*lt*m*re Orioles (the team that doesn't like to admit where it's from), and a win in extra innings over the Red Sox a couple weeks ago with Dice-K pitching (and with my mom in attendance, to boot).

Plus, something really cool happened to the Mariners the other day, something blog-related that's probably never happened before... I'll have to talk about that later.

So yeah, despite all the baseball interest in '07, I bowed out of my ESPN fantasy league early, and the Emory gang has probably played its last season at ESPN. We will most likely head for the greener pastures of Yahoo next year. But I will treasure my 2005 championship banner. I will treasure it... always.

DID YOU KNOW? Also a baseball fan: my adorable new baby son, Alexander.

Seriously, this kid has, like 12 baseball-themed outfits, and I don't think I bought any of them.

(OK, I did buy him a Mariner Moose one, but you could argue that's for the moose content just as much as the baseball content.)

that babies could projectile poop. Now I know.