May 2008 Archives

Apparently a significant chunk of Clinton supporters have decided that if they can't have the first female president, they'd rather have John McCain.

That's really smart. It proves that Clinton's supporters weren't just interested in advancing the station of women in American life. After all, they're switching over to the pro-life candidate, a man who recently described Roe v Wade as "tragic". From the horse's mouth:

I am proud of my pro-life record in public life, and I will continue to maintain it...As a leader of a pro-life party with a pro-life position, I will persuade young Americans [to] understand the importance of the preservation of the rights of the unborn.

Real smart, former Clinton supporters. That's what they call throwing out the right to not have babies, with the bathwater you otherwise wouldn't have had to use on the baby you didn't want to have.

After a fourth straight blowout loss on the road, Ichiro sums it up:

"Playing on this team and seeing what is happening around me, I feel that something is beginning to fall apart,'' Ichiro said, through a translator. "But, if I was not in this situation, and I was objectively watching what just happened this week, I would probably be drinking a lot of beers and booing.''

Yep, pretty much.

After taking over the Mariners' franchise record for stolen bases from Julio Cruz, Ichiro gave us this pearl:

Ichiro said Cruz sent him a bottle of cologne at some point in the past, and the odor spelled out the age difference between the two.

"It smelled like old men," Ichiro said through an interpreter. "I felt the generation gap between us."

Here's a rough transcript of a phone call I got around 10am.

AUTOMATED MESSAGE Blah blah blah car warranty blah blah blah expire soon blah blah press one to speak to an operator blah blah blah

Andrew presses one.

OPERATOR Blah blah blah --

ANDREW
Never, ever, ever call this number again, ever.

OPERATOR
...um...your warranty...

ANDREW
Ever.

OPERATOR
Are you sure?

ANDREW
I am absolutely sure. Never call me again.

OPERATOR
Why?

ANDREW
Because you're scam artists. Take me off your list.

OPERATOR
I'm not taking you off the list.

ANDREW
Take me off the list.

OPERATOR
I'm not taking you off the list. (click)

ANDREW
Unbelievable.

And yet it happened. Okay, so I could've been smoother about that. Next time I'm going to identify myself as Colonel Furdell, and inform them that cold-calling a secret military installation is grounds for black-ops firebombing.

In a bit of sad news for James Bond enthusiasts like myself, Amy Winehouse will not be doing the next Bond theme after all, apparently because she's a total mess.

Very disappointing. Whose style is more well-suited to Bond than Winehouse, a sexy young Brit who drinks way, way too much and produces hit songs about same? Well, besides 50 Cent?