June 2009 Archives

I can make you a STAR!

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I've been listening to Prince's new triple album, LOtUSFLOW3R/MPLSoUND/Elixer, and it's actually pretty good. The first disc sounds like Santana- or Hendrix-style guitar riffs, and the second disc is closer to the pop-funk fusion you'd expect from Prince.

The third disc is the really hilarious one though. In yet another attempt to get in bed with a woman by telling her he can make her a star, Prince has given us Bria Valente, whose vocal stylings can be described thus: it sounds like she wants to get with you. A lot. Luckily this suits Prince's writing style just fine.

But there's an amusing problem: it seems that Prince went deep into the vault to find songs for Bria. These are definitely the sounds of the early 90s. "Home," I swear, has the same hook as the New Kids on the Block classic "The Right Stuff." And check out these lyrics from "Here Eye Come", a song about Bria Valente masturbating in the shower (I love you, Prince):

Careful, a woman's got to be
In this day and age
That's why I was so elated
When I got your page

When did you get my page, Bria Valente? 1992?

I feel like that dirty blonde girl
In 9 ½ Weeks

"Hold on, baby, I gotta look that reference up. Awwwwwww yeah."

(Thanks to Prince.org for the lyrics. Eye have translated them from Prince to English for ur convenience.)

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